Ubundi akenshi kurangiza vuba ntibiba
ari indwara. Gusa, biba bishobora kugira ingaruka ku mibanire y’uyu
mugabo urangiza vuba n’umugore we. Icyo biba bisaba ahangaha rero, ngo
ni ukumenya gutinza ukurangiza kwawe kugirango ubashe gusangira
ibyishimo byawe n’uwo muri kumwe.
Ariko se kurangiza vuba bivugwa ryari?
Ibitabo bitandukanye birimo The Journal of Sexual Medecine hamwe na Premature Ejaculation and Men Orgasmic Disorder bigaragaza ko kurangiza vuba bivugwa iyo umugabo atabasha kuyobora (contrôler) ukurangiza kwe, nyuma yo gukora imibonano inshuro nyinshi kandi azikorana n’umugore umwe, cyangwa se abagore badahinduka. Ibi bikaba bimubaho kuva yatangira gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina bwa mbere. Hakaba nanone ubwo bavuga kurangiza vuba biziyeho (éjaculation précoce secondaire) ha handi noneho umugabo ashobora kuba yarangirizaga igihe abishakiye, ariko nyuma y’igihe runaka agatangira kuzajya arangiza atabanje kubitekerezaho cyangwa se kubiyobora. Bikamutungura. Ibi ngo bikunda kubaho nyuma y’uko umugabo ahura n’ibintu bimutesha umutwe cyangwa se bimuhangayikishije bikomeye.
Niba bikubaho si wowe wenyine
Iki ni ikibazo gisangiwe n’abagabo benshi cyane hirya no hino ku isi. Aho ngo 1/3 cy’abagabo bajya kureba aba sexologues, usanga ari ababa bafite iki kibazo. Mu kubisuzuma, ngo basanze benshi muri aba bagabo bafite ikibazo cyo kurangiza vuba baba babiterwa n’umujinya mwinshi bagira, isoni nyinshi se, cyangwa nanone agahinda gakabije ; cyane cyane ko noneho na kimwe cya kabiri cy’abagabo barangiza vuba usanga bihamya ikosa ryo kuba bataryohereza abo babonana.
Ku bagikora imibonano bwa mbere rero, nta mpamvu yo guhangayika ngo wasanga ndangiza vuba bitewe n’igihe wamaze. Ngo ni ibisanzwe ko ku mibonano ya mbere umugabo arangiza vuba kubera ko umubiri we n’ubwonko biba bitaramenyera ibyo byiyumvo bishyashya uterwa no gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina. Icyo rero uba ugomba gukora, ni ukwirinda guca iya bugufi ahubwo ukita cyane ku gutegurana kuko aribyo bizatuma umenyera imibonano bityo bikazagufasha kujya wiyobora mu bijyana n’igihe cyo kurangiriza.
Icyo ugomaba kumenya igihe urangiza vuba
- Niba ushaka gucika ku kurangiza vuba, birasaba ko wumva ko ushaka kubikora koko, kandi n’uwo mubonana nawe akiyemeza kubigufashamo. Bitabaye ibyo ntacyagerwaho.
- Ikindi ni uko ugomba kugira ikizere ko uzageraho ugashobora kwiyobora, kurangiza vuba bigahagarara, kuko iyo nta kizere ufite biba birangiye. Gukora imibonano bisaba ko mu mu mutwe haba hifitiye ikizere. Iki kizere ugomba kukihingamo, ubifashijwemo n’umugore wawe, bitabaye ibyo ni ngombwa kureba muganga kugirango abigufashemo.
- Ikindi ugomba kumenya kugirango kibashe no kuguha ikizere, ni uko kurangiza vuba bidaturuka ku bumuga ubwo aribwo bwose bw’umubiri. Umugabo aba ari muzima.
- Iyi sensibilité yo ku mutwe w’igitsina itera umugabo kurangiza vuba, ugomba kumenya ko nayo ishobora kugabanyuka cyangwa se guhinduka.
- Kurangiza vuba si ikosa ryawe, ahubwo ni ikimenyetso cy’uko umubiri wawe ukora neza.
- Ubwo twavugaga ko umugore yabigufashamo, ahangaha humvikana ko ikiganiro ari icy’ingenzi cyane. Umugore ashobora kuba ariwe utangira kubivugaho kubera ko wenda wowe byakunaniye ahubwo uhora ubyigunganye, utekereza uko abifata, akaba yakubwira ko mushaka uko mubigenza kugirango nawe yishime, kandi akwereka ko icyo kibazo atari ikosa ryawe kandi ko bitamubuza gukomeza kugukunda cyane. Kugira umuntu nk’uwo ukumva kandi ushaka kugufasha iruhande rwawe, nabyo birafasha cyane.
- Ntugomba gutinya na rimwe icyo uwo mwabonanye akuvugaho niba udafite umugore mwashakanye, ahubwo ugomba guhora wiyumvisha ko uzabigeraho byanze bikunze.
Icyo wakora
Dore rero imyitozo wagerageza gukora kugirango urebe ko wakira kurangiza vuba. Iyi myitozo ni igufasha kwiyobora. Kandi icyo uyobora si uguhagarika gusohora kuko bidashoboka, ahubwo icyo iyobora ni niveau y’ibyishimo ugeraho, ibyo byishimo bikaza gutuma amasohoro ahita atangira kwisuka. Naho iyo yatangiye kwisuka bwo, ntabwo uba ukibihagaritse biba birangiye :
1. Ugomba kugerageza kutanyunya igitsina gabo n’amatako kuko aribyo byerekeza ku kurangiza. Ibi ukabikora ugerageza kumenya niveau y’ibyishimo ugeraho bikagusunikira guhita urangiza
2. Umugabo ufite iki kibazo cyo kurangiza vuba yakagombye gukoresha exercices cyangwa se udusiporo duto imitsi ye iba hepfo y’igitsina, kuko bimufasha kumenya ko iyo mitsi cyangwa se iyo mikaya ihaba kandi akamenya n’uburyo bwo kuyikoresha mu gihe cy’ibyishimo.
3. Kugerageza kumenya ahantu hamutera ibyiyumvo cyangwa se ibyo akora bimutera ibyiyumvo bimuganisha ku kurangiza, kugirango atazongera gutungurwa no kubona arangije atabitekerejeho.
4. Umugabo nanone ngo ashobora kuba yakora imyitozo imifusha kwimenya no kwikontrola, urugero nka Yoga, bizamufasha kumenya cya gihe aba agiye gusuhora bityo bikamubashisha kwokontorola (se contrôler)
5. Kwikinisha nacyo ni bimwe mu bishobora gufasha umugabo kwimenya kugirango acike ku kurangiza bimutunguye, ariko ibi ngo bigasaba ko atabikora agambiriye kurangiza gusa nk’uko aba ariyo ntego y’abagabo benshi bikinisha, ahubwo agambiriye kumenya uko bimugendekera igihe ibyishimo bizamutse bimuganisha gusohora, n’uburyo yabyitwaramo kugirango abe abicubije gato maze akomeze ibyo yarimo.
Hari n’izindi techniques zagiye zivumburwa n’abahanga.
1. Uwitwa Seemans yavumbuye technique maze iza gutsindagirizwa na Masters na Johnson bayita squeeze : aha ngo umugabo igihe yumva ibyishimo bitangiye kuzamuka bimusunikira kurangiza, acira isiri umugore baba barabyumvikanyeho mbere y’igihe, ariko kandi akabikora bitararenga inkombe, noneho wa mugare ngo akamufatira munsi y’umutwe w’igitsina akahakomeza. Uku kuhafatara nta kandi kamaro gakomeye hafite, ahubwo ngo ni nko gufasha umugabo kubona ko koko yamenye ko agiye kurangiza, bityo bikamufasha gukomera ku cyemezo cye cyo gutinza kurangiza. Aramutse abivuze byarenze inkombe, icyo gihe biraza nta kabuza.
2. Undi witwa Kaplan we yahimbye uburyo bwitwa Stop and Go : Aha ho ni uguhinduranya uburyo umugabo yiyumva, ndetse rimwe na rimwe agasa n’ubihagaritse mo gato, byose akabikora akurikije uko yumva ibyishimo birimo bimuzamukana. Ahangaha umugabo asabwa kwibanda ku byiyumvo bye, hanyuma yakumva bigiye kumucika agacira isiri uwo bakorana imibonano maze bose bagahagarikira rimwe ibyo bakoraga ntihagire unyeganyega. Hanyuma yakumva yongeye kwimetriza (se maitriser) bakongera bagakomeza ibyo bari barimo.
3. Iyi ibi byose rero bigeragejwe ntibikunde, kwa muganga baba bashobora kugira imiti baguha yagufasha, les antidépresseurs, ariko kubera ko usanga imiti hafi ya yose igira ingaruka ku muntu, biba byiza kubanza kugerageza ibindi, kandi byaba ngimbwa kuyifata, ukayifata wayandikiwe na muganga.
Mu kurangiza, ibuka ko igihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina ari igihe gituje, kizihiza, gihuza abantu babiri mu ibanga ryabo, kandi kikaba n’igihe cyiza cy’akaruhuko. Si byiza rero kukinjiramo uhangayikishijwe no gukorera umuntu mu buryo bunaka utabashije. Ibuka ko akenshi kurangiza vuba biterwa no kwinjira. Pénétration. Nyamara hakaba habaho ubundi buryo bwinshi cyane butandukanye ushobora gukoreramo umuntu imibonano kandi akizihirwa utiriwe winjira. Ibyo byose rero ushobora kubigerageza ariko icyo gikorwa mukakirangiza mudaciwe intege no kurangiza vuba.
Ariko se kurangiza vuba bivugwa ryari?
Ibitabo bitandukanye birimo The Journal of Sexual Medecine hamwe na Premature Ejaculation and Men Orgasmic Disorder bigaragaza ko kurangiza vuba bivugwa iyo umugabo atabasha kuyobora (contrôler) ukurangiza kwe, nyuma yo gukora imibonano inshuro nyinshi kandi azikorana n’umugore umwe, cyangwa se abagore badahinduka. Ibi bikaba bimubaho kuva yatangira gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina bwa mbere. Hakaba nanone ubwo bavuga kurangiza vuba biziyeho (éjaculation précoce secondaire) ha handi noneho umugabo ashobora kuba yarangirizaga igihe abishakiye, ariko nyuma y’igihe runaka agatangira kuzajya arangiza atabanje kubitekerezaho cyangwa se kubiyobora. Bikamutungura. Ibi ngo bikunda kubaho nyuma y’uko umugabo ahura n’ibintu bimutesha umutwe cyangwa se bimuhangayikishije bikomeye.
Niba bikubaho si wowe wenyine
Iki ni ikibazo gisangiwe n’abagabo benshi cyane hirya no hino ku isi. Aho ngo 1/3 cy’abagabo bajya kureba aba sexologues, usanga ari ababa bafite iki kibazo. Mu kubisuzuma, ngo basanze benshi muri aba bagabo bafite ikibazo cyo kurangiza vuba baba babiterwa n’umujinya mwinshi bagira, isoni nyinshi se, cyangwa nanone agahinda gakabije ; cyane cyane ko noneho na kimwe cya kabiri cy’abagabo barangiza vuba usanga bihamya ikosa ryo kuba bataryohereza abo babonana.
Ku bagikora imibonano bwa mbere rero, nta mpamvu yo guhangayika ngo wasanga ndangiza vuba bitewe n’igihe wamaze. Ngo ni ibisanzwe ko ku mibonano ya mbere umugabo arangiza vuba kubera ko umubiri we n’ubwonko biba bitaramenyera ibyo byiyumvo bishyashya uterwa no gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina. Icyo rero uba ugomba gukora, ni ukwirinda guca iya bugufi ahubwo ukita cyane ku gutegurana kuko aribyo bizatuma umenyera imibonano bityo bikazagufasha kujya wiyobora mu bijyana n’igihe cyo kurangiriza.
Icyo ugomaba kumenya igihe urangiza vuba
- Niba ushaka gucika ku kurangiza vuba, birasaba ko wumva ko ushaka kubikora koko, kandi n’uwo mubonana nawe akiyemeza kubigufashamo. Bitabaye ibyo ntacyagerwaho.
- Ikindi ni uko ugomba kugira ikizere ko uzageraho ugashobora kwiyobora, kurangiza vuba bigahagarara, kuko iyo nta kizere ufite biba birangiye. Gukora imibonano bisaba ko mu mu mutwe haba hifitiye ikizere. Iki kizere ugomba kukihingamo, ubifashijwemo n’umugore wawe, bitabaye ibyo ni ngombwa kureba muganga kugirango abigufashemo.
- Ikindi ugomba kumenya kugirango kibashe no kuguha ikizere, ni uko kurangiza vuba bidaturuka ku bumuga ubwo aribwo bwose bw’umubiri. Umugabo aba ari muzima.
- Iyi sensibilité yo ku mutwe w’igitsina itera umugabo kurangiza vuba, ugomba kumenya ko nayo ishobora kugabanyuka cyangwa se guhinduka.
- Kurangiza vuba si ikosa ryawe, ahubwo ni ikimenyetso cy’uko umubiri wawe ukora neza.
- Ubwo twavugaga ko umugore yabigufashamo, ahangaha humvikana ko ikiganiro ari icy’ingenzi cyane. Umugore ashobora kuba ariwe utangira kubivugaho kubera ko wenda wowe byakunaniye ahubwo uhora ubyigunganye, utekereza uko abifata, akaba yakubwira ko mushaka uko mubigenza kugirango nawe yishime, kandi akwereka ko icyo kibazo atari ikosa ryawe kandi ko bitamubuza gukomeza kugukunda cyane. Kugira umuntu nk’uwo ukumva kandi ushaka kugufasha iruhande rwawe, nabyo birafasha cyane.
- Ntugomba gutinya na rimwe icyo uwo mwabonanye akuvugaho niba udafite umugore mwashakanye, ahubwo ugomba guhora wiyumvisha ko uzabigeraho byanze bikunze.
Icyo wakora
Dore rero imyitozo wagerageza gukora kugirango urebe ko wakira kurangiza vuba. Iyi myitozo ni igufasha kwiyobora. Kandi icyo uyobora si uguhagarika gusohora kuko bidashoboka, ahubwo icyo iyobora ni niveau y’ibyishimo ugeraho, ibyo byishimo bikaza gutuma amasohoro ahita atangira kwisuka. Naho iyo yatangiye kwisuka bwo, ntabwo uba ukibihagaritse biba birangiye :
1. Ugomba kugerageza kutanyunya igitsina gabo n’amatako kuko aribyo byerekeza ku kurangiza. Ibi ukabikora ugerageza kumenya niveau y’ibyishimo ugeraho bikagusunikira guhita urangiza
2. Umugabo ufite iki kibazo cyo kurangiza vuba yakagombye gukoresha exercices cyangwa se udusiporo duto imitsi ye iba hepfo y’igitsina, kuko bimufasha kumenya ko iyo mitsi cyangwa se iyo mikaya ihaba kandi akamenya n’uburyo bwo kuyikoresha mu gihe cy’ibyishimo.
3. Kugerageza kumenya ahantu hamutera ibyiyumvo cyangwa se ibyo akora bimutera ibyiyumvo bimuganisha ku kurangiza, kugirango atazongera gutungurwa no kubona arangije atabitekerejeho.
4. Umugabo nanone ngo ashobora kuba yakora imyitozo imifusha kwimenya no kwikontrola, urugero nka Yoga, bizamufasha kumenya cya gihe aba agiye gusuhora bityo bikamubashisha kwokontorola (se contrôler)
5. Kwikinisha nacyo ni bimwe mu bishobora gufasha umugabo kwimenya kugirango acike ku kurangiza bimutunguye, ariko ibi ngo bigasaba ko atabikora agambiriye kurangiza gusa nk’uko aba ariyo ntego y’abagabo benshi bikinisha, ahubwo agambiriye kumenya uko bimugendekera igihe ibyishimo bizamutse bimuganisha gusohora, n’uburyo yabyitwaramo kugirango abe abicubije gato maze akomeze ibyo yarimo.
Hari n’izindi techniques zagiye zivumburwa n’abahanga.
1. Uwitwa Seemans yavumbuye technique maze iza gutsindagirizwa na Masters na Johnson bayita squeeze : aha ngo umugabo igihe yumva ibyishimo bitangiye kuzamuka bimusunikira kurangiza, acira isiri umugore baba barabyumvikanyeho mbere y’igihe, ariko kandi akabikora bitararenga inkombe, noneho wa mugare ngo akamufatira munsi y’umutwe w’igitsina akahakomeza. Uku kuhafatara nta kandi kamaro gakomeye hafite, ahubwo ngo ni nko gufasha umugabo kubona ko koko yamenye ko agiye kurangiza, bityo bikamufasha gukomera ku cyemezo cye cyo gutinza kurangiza. Aramutse abivuze byarenze inkombe, icyo gihe biraza nta kabuza.
2. Undi witwa Kaplan we yahimbye uburyo bwitwa Stop and Go : Aha ho ni uguhinduranya uburyo umugabo yiyumva, ndetse rimwe na rimwe agasa n’ubihagaritse mo gato, byose akabikora akurikije uko yumva ibyishimo birimo bimuzamukana. Ahangaha umugabo asabwa kwibanda ku byiyumvo bye, hanyuma yakumva bigiye kumucika agacira isiri uwo bakorana imibonano maze bose bagahagarikira rimwe ibyo bakoraga ntihagire unyeganyega. Hanyuma yakumva yongeye kwimetriza (se maitriser) bakongera bagakomeza ibyo bari barimo.
3. Iyi ibi byose rero bigeragejwe ntibikunde, kwa muganga baba bashobora kugira imiti baguha yagufasha, les antidépresseurs, ariko kubera ko usanga imiti hafi ya yose igira ingaruka ku muntu, biba byiza kubanza kugerageza ibindi, kandi byaba ngimbwa kuyifata, ukayifata wayandikiwe na muganga.
Mu kurangiza, ibuka ko igihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina ari igihe gituje, kizihiza, gihuza abantu babiri mu ibanga ryabo, kandi kikaba n’igihe cyiza cy’akaruhuko. Si byiza rero kukinjiramo uhangayikishijwe no gukorera umuntu mu buryo bunaka utabashije. Ibuka ko akenshi kurangiza vuba biterwa no kwinjira. Pénétration. Nyamara hakaba habaho ubundi buryo bwinshi cyane butandukanye ushobora gukoreramo umuntu imibonano kandi akizihirwa utiriwe winjira. Ibyo byose rero ushobora kubigerageza ariko icyo gikorwa mukakirangiza mudaciwe intege no kurangiza vuba.
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